Songs in the key of Skegness

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When I was young I’d listen to the radio waiting for my favorite songs, largely hoping for tales of Skegness and Santa. Now as it happens they’re back again, just like a long lost friend, all the songs I loved so well because just like before, it’s Mediawatch once more.

Mediawatch has got all musical this week, so early apologies to anyone currently fed up with people talking about the new Mamma Mia film all the time.

Having navigated the emotional intro we enter the first verse good and proper, drums pound, voices wail and the Evening Standard reports that a pop star chose to name a song Barcelona instead of Skegness as the British seaside retreat doesn’t quite come with the same connotations.

Max George (nope, me neither) wrote the ode to summer romances which he apparently has had both in the Spanish tourist hotspot and back here in blighty. He clearly favoured the former but anyone with a fleeting knowledge of the two resorts knows for a fact that time spent on the Lincolnshire coast is worth at least double that than of the Catalan sands.

“It’s about that feeling of reminiscing,” he claimed. “Barcelona was put in the song because I’ve been there a lot and I had a holiday romance there when I was 18. And it sings well. I’ve had a holiday romance in Skegness – but it doesn’t roll off the tongue that well.”

Well, it would be a desertion of journalistic duty to not point out that George is in fact incredibly wrong and the following could all have made it into the chorus of a summer smash hit: Getting paid on the esplanade, put on your best dress we’re off to Skegness, my day was made in the pier arcade and I’m going to shake my hips with a large cod and chips. You can have them for free, mr popstar.

Dusting ourselves off for the difficult second album and things are beginning to heat up, especially so for the unfortunate soul that has to dress as Father Christmas on Felixstowe beach in this heatwave.

The Ipswich Star is taking the role of lead singer in this merry tale of sun, sea and sweaty santas and croons that the jolly man in red will be on the beach on 2 August along with Ipswich Town legend (their words) Mick Mills.

Debbie Bartlett, a member of the community group behind the occurrence, said: “We were looking for a celebrity who was attractive to a lot of children, and we thought, where does Father Christmas go for his holidays?”

Jolly old saint Nick will be on and around the pier from 11am where he will surely take part in some redemption revelry before leading children, in a non-sinister way, to a litter pick on the beach.

She added: “He won’t be wearing his red suit, but a Hawaiian shirt, shorts, a baseball cap with SC on it, and sunglasses. But he will still have his beard,

“It is a fun day with a serious message – we all need to consider our use of plastics and how we recycle. We want to encourage everyone not to drop litter and keep our oceans blue.”

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